Day 1: The Brain Dump I sit down with new hires for two hours and just… talk. Not about procedures or tools, but about why we exist. What problems are we solving? What keeps me up at night? What are we trying to build?
Then I show them the actual state of things. Not the clean version we put in slide decks, but the real version. The technical debt. The shortcuts. The systems held together with hope and caffeine.
Day 2-3: Breaking Things Safely They get a complete copy of our production environment (thanks, Docker). Their mission: break everything. Deploy bad code. Misconfigure services. Trigger every alarm we have.
This sounds crazy, but it works. They learn our monitoring systems by watching them scream. They understand our rollback procedures by needing them. Most importantly, they stop being afraid of production.
Week 1: Real Work, Real Stakes No more toy problems. They get assigned to actual tickets. Small ones, sure, but real ones. They pair with someone experienced, but they’re driving.
The first time they push code that real users touch? Magic. Even if it’s just fixing a typo in an error message, it’s their contribution.
Week 2-3: Teaching Others This is the secret sauce. I have them explain our deployment process to someone else. Could be another new hire, could be someone from marketing who wants to understand how releases work.
Teaching forces them to organize their knowledge. It reveals gaps in their understanding. And it makes them feel valuable—they’re not just learning, they’re contributing to the team’s knowledge base.
Week 4: On-Call Training Wheels They join the on-call rotation, but with training wheels. They’re always paired with someone experienced. They handle the communication, the experienced person makes the technical decisions.
By the end of the month, they’ve seen everything from routine deployments to middle-of-the-night outages. They understand the rhythm of the job, not just the mechanics.